Hey Reader 👋
This week’s song of the week is: Rainbow Bap – Jaden
I was part of a community called Totem Academy. To this day, the best way I can explain Totem is that it was some sort of in-person mastermind. Everyone there was doing their own thing, but we’d gather, have classes and events to share ideas and learn more from each other.
At one of those said events, I vividly remember talking to this one girl, Nicole, about cold showers. The conversation went something like this:
Her: Why do you take cold showers?
Me: It feels really good and gives you XYZ benefits !
Her: Like, you literally just jump straight into cold water when taking your shower?
Me: Yup, that pretty much sums it up.
Her: omg, I can never do that, it’s way too cold hahahaha
Needless to say, it was a pretty short conversation.
I’m bringing this up not to bash on Nicole for not doing cold showers, but because I honestly didn’t really know why I was taking cold showers. The “XYZ benefits” that I mentioned were actually just words I memorized from the countless productivity gurus I listened to.
I guess at that time, the only real reason I was taking cold showers was because I believed they were going to make me more successful.
“All of these famous people take cold showers. If I take cold showers, I should become famous too… right?”
Of course, as I’m writing this 2 years later, I can clearly see the fault in my logic. No amount of cold showers (or other similar productivity hacks in fact) will make me more (or less) successful. Because none of those actually replaces putting in the work.
Consequently, as the summer was ending, temperature, dropping and with no magical success in sight, I decided to drop my cold showers.
It’s a weird word to use, but it’s the best I can think of at this time.
I was feeling pretty unstable.
I was tired of almost everything in my life and I just wanted change. I had convinced myself that I was too comfortable and I needed to be as uncomfortable as ever in order to grow.
Except, for some external circumstances, my growth had to wait about 2 months, but I wanted to be uncomfortable NOW.
And then one day, I’m so goddamn stuck in my head, that I decide to take a break from work and take a hot shower to process my thoughts. 5 minutes in my shower, I’m feeling good, relaxed and super comfortable. And that’s when a little voice in my head tells me:
“Take a cold shower. Drop the faucet to that blue zone that means COLD.”
At this point, I start debating with myself whether or not I should do it. On one end, I’m feeling really comfortable in my hot steamy shower and don’t really want to ruin the moment, but on the other end, I keep telling myself that I want to be uncomfortable and this is something that fits the criteria.
I finally settle on “Fuck it, let’s do it.”
Before I get the chance to stop myself from doing this stupid thing, I count to 5, drop the faucet to the blue zone and let this cold ass water pour on my naked body.
20 seconds later, I stop the water. This is all I could handle that day. I’m cold as hell, but this small victory makes me smile a little.
The next day, I’m taking my daily morning shower. Running it hot as hell. Everything feels good and right when I’m about to end my shower, the voice comes back:
“Aren’t you gonna take a cold shower again?”
I remember being like “fuck, here we go again.”
Inner dialogue. One side is saying “cmon, this was just a yesterday thing, you’re not going to do this every day are you?” and the other side is saying “don’t be a little bitch, cmon, it’s just a few seconds. do it.” 🙄
I turn the faucet to the blue zone and freeze my ass for 30 seconds. Victory.
I’ve been doing this every day for about 2 weeks now.
Does it suck in the moment? 100%.
But do I feel good afterwards? Absolutely.
And this is where 2018 Nick and 2020 Nick are different (in regards of cold showers).
2 years ago, I was taking cold showers because of everything it was providing me external. This promise of potentially being successful and also being a “badass” for taking cold showers. This is why as soon as I realized it wasn’t making me successful, I dropped it.
This year, it wasn’t even planned. Sure, I initially did it because I wanted to be uncomfortable, but it’s not the reason I’ve been doing it every day for ~2 weeks now. I simply do it because it feels good. It’s a small mental victory for me and I actually feel better after going through it.
I consider this to be a small, but satisfying victory. As someone who constantly does things for external validation, it feels good to just do this for myself for once.
That’s it for me,