the dark side of self-development or why i started my channel


I decided to create a YouTube channel, here is the original transcript/text used to create my video.

There’s a lot of hurt and unhappiness in this world right now and I don’t think I can tell you or anyone can tell you the one thing that is causing all this unhappiness because.. there probably isn’t just one cause… there are multiple…

I think social media plays a big role maybe not as the main cause, but certainly as an amplifier.

Regular media also plays a role in that, corporations that continually want to more and more money, the government, of course, other human beings and there are probably countless more.

And one person who was affected by this was… me !

Around my 2nd year in University, I was feeling really lost because I didn’t really like my program (software engineering, which I graduated from) and generally felt like I had no control of my life so I decided to pick up Daring Greatly by BrenĂ© Brown, got immediately hooked and then that opened the door to my “self-development” journey. Which was absolutely fantastic during my last two years of University because I really had that balance of trying to improve myself personally and also having a goal at the end (graduating), but then as soon as I graduated and therefore lost the only goal I had for the past 21 years… that’s when shit really hit the fan.

Because you see, the type of self-development that’s out there is a lot of RAH RAH and “Do This, or Do That or if you want to be successful do this” or “you NEED to be disciplined in order to succeed” and at the time where I didn’t have any goal ALL I wanted to do is succeed and when I wasn’t being disciplined enough, I felt like a failure…. I was honestly beating myself up every day because the more I was reading on self-development or self-improvement, the less I was doing what I was supposedly supposed to do, the more I hated myself for it and that… just led me down a really bad mental space.

But somewhere during February 2020 (yes, that was last month), I was able to dig myself out of that mental space and I am now feeling much much better. So thank you to all those that helped me.

And at the same time as I was digging myself out of my hole, I also found what people in the self-development world would call my purpose or my “Why” as Simon Sinek would call it. Or at least, I think I found it, because I probably found my “purpose” about 100 other times before this that weren’t actually my purpose. This purpose is simply trying to help people live a happier life. And damn, I hate putting it that way. It sounds so cheesy like, I’ll probably have to get used to it, but it’s honestly the truth…. Like this isn’t some fancy shit like “oh, I want to be a multi-millionaire and I want to create a startup and get funded by XYZ company to have impact in the world”…. That could be YOU, but it’s not ME. Anyway, so yeah, I want to help people live a happier life mostly by sharing my own experiences because

  1. I remember when I was feeling depressed as hell about something and that I’d vent to someone about my situation and that person would be like “YOOO, SAME” or that I’d read a similar story on internet, that would make me feel 100000000 times better. You know, just not being alone in this.

and then

  1. Perhaps by listening to how I solved my problems or how I navigated through a certain situation, my solution might also apply to one of your problems and you’ll be able to deal through your situation. And just to be clear, I don’t have all the solutions. I still have problems of my own. But you know, if I’m like 1% happier than someone because of something I know, then I feel like sharing that 1% is something I want to do.

I also want to help people by calling out all the shit in the companies these days, but that’s probably going to come later on.

So yeah, that’s it for my first video, I’m honestly really excited for this. For once, I’m not thinking about blowing up or becoming famous or getting millions of views or getting lots of money or having to prove myself by saying smart things. It’s really about helping people. Maybe you or anyone out there so if I help you in any way or can help you in any way, please let me know, I thrive off that shit.

Thank you for watching,