My new problem is wanting to do too many things. yay for progress

There are so many things going through my mind.

For people who don’t know, I started running recently. Nothing big about 5-6km or 30 minutes to be exact recently and those runs just made me feel really good. It got me thinking that many I can train to eventually run a marathon, which, for some reason, has always been one of my life goals.

Unfortunately for me, my body is all messed up and it might take longer to accomplish, but hey, I have my whole life to complete it. The most important part is not to get an injury that’ll affect me my whole life.

Anyway, whenever I start something new, I always like watching videos about that subject and YouTube is freakishly good at recommending me videos that I’d be interested in.

One such video that I just finished is this one: the long run, an inside view, which follows Eliud Kipchoge (current marathon record holder with a time of 1:59:40 – first to break the 2 hour marathon barrier !) and his training group, NN Running team, as they do one of their long runs.

What I find the most interesting in these types of videos, besides the story telling, is the camaraderie of the group and it usually makes me miss a certain sense of belonging. I think one of my deepest desires is to be a part of such a group. A group dedicated to one common goal. Living and breathing their art form. I had a similar feeling while watching episode 5 of The Last Dance when the 1992 Dream Team were practicing. Imagine, a group of the top basketball players, trying to out-perform themselves. Being competitive and respecting their skills at the same time. Awesome.

This is usually where the disconnect happens because you can’t have someone as myself be part of that Dream Team practice or myself as running with the NN group. Why? Simply because I suck at running and basketball. All the camaraderie, the joyfulness and the respect is lost when my skills don’t back me up. I mean yes, they can respect me as a human being for sure, but as a basketball player or a runner? Not a chance. I haven’t put in the same hours they did, I haven’t competed the way they did. I fundamentally cannot understand them in their art form. This isn’t only about skills, it’s mostly about dedication. I’m not as dedicated as them.

The same thing goes for companies in my opinion. I always wanted to have a company or be part of a knit-tight group of people running a company, but honestly, like, I just don’t have any necessary skills that would allow me to be part of a group. Unless the group is about watching YouTube videos… but even then, I’m probably above-average at best.

And this is where things get messy in my head because I know that the only way to cultivate a skill or an art to a respectable level is to just freaking put in the hours man. Practice practice practice.

The problem is that, contrary to my past beliefs, it’s not that I have no skills that I’d like to cultivate, it’s simply that I have too many skills that I could develop. And maybe it’s because of social media and external influences, but I truly believe that I can learn any skills to a decent level. Or at least, every single thing I’ve ever thought about pursuing; I’m positive that, with enough time, I’d be able to get decent at.

Now, I’m in a conundrum where I want to develop too many things and I know for a fact that if I pick one, it probably means that I’ll have to eliminate some of them and I don’t want to do that.

I just realized that this is exactly what Warren Buffett’s 5/25 strategy was for (which I actually did when I was in Europe. 2018), but I never actually forgot about those 20 other things because I’m still thinking about them… oops 🤷‍♀️.

So.. yeah, I actually don’t know what to do. This is akin to when my girlfriend asks me what I’d like to eat and I answer “I don’t know”. It’s not that I don’t know because I can’t think of anything. It’s I don’t know because there are too many good options.

Anyway, that’s it. I guess my problem went from “I have no idea what I like” to “I know what I like, there’s just too many things”, which is still a step forward ! I know I have to be patient and that this is probably just me feeling impatient, but I want to do something with my life you know ! I want to belong to a cool group like NN or Dream Team. I feel like I didn’t win the great sperm race just to end up wasting my life sitting on a couch browsing YouTube and Netflix all day ya feel?!

Aight, imma keep ya’ll updated on what’s going on with this.

Peace.